Today is the beginning of....

The sun was well up in the sky by the time I woke up this morning. There were the usual indications that I overslept like the sounds of planes departing Phoenix and cars coming and going to work, school and wherever. The birds and bugs were all busy going about their activities. All at a more frequent pace than say around 6 or 7 a.m. I usually have a sense of guilt when I oversleep, even on weekends, only today I noticed there was something different. The difference was the realization that I didn’t feel any guilt or panic over waking up late or that I did something wrong by sleeping in.

This may sound strange but to not feel guilty about waking up late is an odd thing for me stemming back to becoming a mother at 18 and then becoming a single mother entering the workforce around 25, my entire adult life has been about being accountable to someone or something else. Additionally, I come from a long line of doers. You know, people who don’t sit around unless you have something productive in your hands.

Three weeks have passed since the “blessing” took place, and I am beginning to fully appreciate that I have been given a wonderful opportunity to attend to myself for a bit. I have to say this new preface in the story of my life is starting to really feel good. I mean really good! There have been a few things to re-enter my life in these subsequent weeks, like wanting to cook, nesting, playing, and now feeling okay with when I oversleep. It’s like there is no inner criticism. I feel like a wonderful transformation is taking place. It’s as though I had a bad head cold forever and wasn’t able to taste food and now, all of a sudden, the cold is gone and I am finding how well everything tastes. I love and appreciate the subtleness of this realization and I believe I should give this transformation a little more time to evolve. I think that maybe taking this extra time between jobs to unwind, unkink, uncork(?) is helping my well being in a way that I never expected. Maybe, just maybe, the things that are becoming important now will find themselves rooted deeply as I move into the next chapter of my life.

So while I contemplate what this means and more importantly where it will lead me, today I am taking the time to find beauty around me, listen to nature’s song and let it encourage my soul and go about my new routine which gives joy to my heart. The following quote speaks to my being today.

“First you need only look: Notice and honor the radiance of Everything about you... Play in this universe. Tend All these shining things around you: The smallest plant, the creatures and objects in your care. Be gentle and nurture. Listen...” Anne Hillman